The window

The mind whirls, the cogs ticking. I think about what this all means.  What is this mindful life? how can I analyse it? how can I put it into words?  Nothing comes, the words are there but I can’t quite string them all together so I stop and look out of the window.  I have moved my little desk upstairs, in front of the window that looks out to the back, over the houses to the edge of the town and the trees on the hill.

My mind tells me this is wrong, you can’t just sit and stare out of the window, a memory flashes up so vivid now. That day I was sat in History class. I was bored so was staring out of the window, out to the school playing field and the trees beyond. I got told off by the teacher.

A little voice inside starts to speak, it is a voice that used to be so, so quiet. I could never hear it but over the last few years  its got a bit louder.  It is a voice of compassion, gentle, warming, kind and from the heart.

“You are here my friend not there, it is gone, all is ok. That feeling of wrong is just a memory.   What was wrong then, is not wrong now”

I look out of the window, here in this moment. I look over the rooftops to the trees on the hill, branches all bare hibernating for winter, their tops gently swaying in the breeze.

A plane passes overhead and in that moment a flock of birds soar up from one of the trees and then disappear out of view. Three big pigeons waddle across the top of a roof.

Beyond, the clouds roll by in colours of grey, blue, white and yellow.  It starts to rain, little droplets forming on the window, the pitter-patter sound on the roof above.

Simple, nothing special, so easy to miss but oh so beautiful.

What is this mindful life? The words still haven’t come, but here in this very moment looking out of the window, a feeling of joy bubbles up inside.

Maybe it needs no words, just an experience. A fleeting moment in time.  It can’t be grasped at, held on to, intellectualised and dissected.

A window, a little moment in time.

Maybe it is just this.

 

 

 

Change – An exploration of life meditation

Change

We hold on tight, push and pull, manipulate and scheme,

anything to avoid losing the familiar, however good or bad the familiar may be.

When change comes along, we build a fortress to protect ourselves and then realise we have locked ourselves in  prison and thrown the keys through the door.

When uncertainty prevails, we follow the familiar paths, the well trodden road.

Closing down the heart, clinging on for dear life.

But what if there was a different way, a different road.

A road with less tension, less pulling and pushing.

A road that allows us to sit back a moment and process the emotions.

A sadness, a joy, a fear, all emotions that just want to be experienced,

Not manipulated but felt for what they are.

Take a long…. slow….deep breath,

this is it, just pause, rest in this very moment, in this reality.

From here, every moment can be seen with new eyes.

The emotions we can feel but not battle with.

 

This is not a case of mind over matter,

the challenges are real, change is inevitable.

but from this space of awareness, this little moment in time, this little pause,

things become a little clearer, our options greater, we see more solutions and realise we can adapt and be creative in the most challenging of times.

Un-clench the fists, let go of the tight grip

Just watch and observe, be curious,

Hold your life gently like a bird resting in the palm of your hand…

 

Waiting

What are we waiting for?

For so long I found myself waiting,

waiting for a better life,

waiting for more money,

waiting until I have got this mindfulness thing a bit more,

waiting until I am little older and wiser

waiting for the clouds to clear,

waiting for peace and calm,

waiting for something, anything to happen,

waiting before I can fully live this life.

What a false illusion. In waiting for all the cards to line up perfectly, I missed living.

I missed the fact that I was breathing, awake, alive, vital.

I missed the fact that life isn’t always perfect and that imperfection is ok.

I missed the smell of fresh coffee (my favourite),

I missed the birds singing

I missed so many sunsets.

Words cannot adequately describe it, all that is left is this.

I’ve given up waiting, I hope you will do the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waiting

What are we waiting for?

For so long I found myself waiting,

waiting for a better life,

waiting for more money,

waiting until I have got this mindfulness thing a bit more,

waiting until I am little older and wiser

waiting for the clouds to clear,

waiting for peace and calm,

waiting for something, anything to happen,

waiting before I can fully live this life.

What a false illusion. In waiting for all the cards to line up perfectly, I missed living.

I missed the fact that I was breathing, awake, alive, vital.

I missed the fact that life isn’t always perfect and that imperfection is ok.

I missed the smell of fresh coffee (my favourite),

I missed the birds singing

I missed so many sunsets.

Words cannot adequately describe it, all that is left is this.

I’ve given up waiting, I hope you will do the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A great adventure

An adventure, lost in time

Those times so vivid in my mind now, times when an hour seemed like a day, a day seemed like a year and Summer felt like a lifetime.

Times when a ride out on my little bike to the next village was a great adventure.

Times when I was awake, vibrant, unencumbered by conditioning.

It seems dream like, may be not real, just a fleeting memory of a time when I was young, the past, gone, never to be experienced again or so I thought….

Life raced on, for some strange reason for years I stopped myself experiencing, I closed my heart, closed my mind, closed my ears and tried to close my eyes as often as I could to block it all out.

Pain, grief, loss, joy, happiness, anger all pushed away or held on to so tightly, not allowed to pass through.  I didn’t know there was another way.

I didn’t know that those times, those endless days, unencumbered, alive and awake, they were still there, just under the surface waiting to be discovered again.  Re-born again into existence by simple, beautiful awareness.

So ordinary, so simple, so easy to miss, no wonder for years I didn’t see it.

Little moments in time

The coffee with my friend.  My ears open, I listen to him speak, there could be a thousand people talking around us at that moment, but all I hear are his words.  My mind is nowhere else but there.  I fully taste the coffee, rich, bitter, strong.  I feel my feet on the floor, grounded, solid.  We seem to drop out of time. For a while our time there seems endless.

The drive to work.  I feel the hands on the wheel, my bum on the seat.  Everything considered.  I turn the radio off, I want no other sound, just the car’s engine.  I hear the gears changing, I do a little wave to lady who has just let me through and mouth the words thank you, I see her smile but she doesn’t wave back.   A car shoots out of a side road right in front of me, I have to brake, for a second I feel that familiar knot in the stomach but I let it pass through, the stimulus has gone, it is over, I don’t need to react or respond.  I wind my way across the lanes, the sun is just poking its head over the horizon, the trees like skeletons, bare, waiting for the season to turn. Just at that moment, I feel more alive than ever, unencumbered.

A walk in the garden.  I let the dog out, he wants to wander around and sniff the myriad of different scents he can pick up.  I look out, not much happening in the garden at this time of year, but wait that little palm I planted last year, crikey it has grown.  A flash of white catches my eye in the bed at the side, snow drops with little heads dangling. My ears pick up on the sound of the little Robin singing away. There is another bird call further away, one I havent heard for a while. I can hear it over the sound of the traffic, a crystal clear ‘keeow’ shriek almost.  I stand on the chair to get a better view over the fence and to the fields beyond the edge of the town. There, high above the trees are two buzzards soaring.  I sit for a while and just listen, a beautiful simple moment in time.

Moments that are disguised in everyday life, I have nothing but gratitude for finding them again.  Those times that seem to last forever.

Moments that make you see that there is nowhere else we have to go and nothing else we have to become.

The great adventure is right here, right now.  It always was and always will be.  When we think we have lost it, there it will be right under our feet.

Be well

Be happy.

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks to life

Life and awareness

As I sit and write today my attention keeps being drawn to the little puddle that is being formed on the patio outside the door. The rain is falling at a steady rate, drumming on the glass and roof, each raindrop forming a ripple of perfect circles in the puddle, the sky reflected in its surface. Simple,  absolute perfection.

You may wonder if I have gone a little strange staring at a puddle and wonder why I make such a big deal of it, but it is oh so easy to miss in our quest for something grander, something bigger.  So easy to by-pass in our striving, plotting and planning.

Simple present moment awareness, I missed it for years, it passed me by.

Even when I started this mindful exploration of life and journey into mindfulness and meditation, my mind played a little trick to push me out of the present moment.  It showed me a little snap shot picture of what it thought life would be like in the future, when “I had got it”.

A calm mind, bliss, peace, no stress, oh how wonderful it would be.

Many times I wondered why it wasn’t working. Many times I nearly gave up. Many times I felt uncomfortable.

I staked my happiness on some future ideal, which was just an illusion.

My practice changed when I settled  into  fully accepting what is here, right now. Be that to get rid of my racing mind, stress, bliss, peace, whatever, I stopped chasing it.

It is subtle but made a huge difference.  I stopped meditating to become different.

We meditate to be who we already are, to be right here, right now, awake and vital, our natural self, nothing added, nothing taken away.

Swallowing a bitter pill

This can be a bitter pill to swallow. I know we sometimes desperately want to change, to escape from the present moment but we find the harder we push it away, the harder it pushes back.

The truth is, there is no other moment, this is all we have. This is our work, right here, right now.

Not always comfortable, not always easy, but when we turn our attention to the present moment, it can open us up to moments of wonder and beauty.

When we make this subtle change of acceptance we can start to be satisfied with just being.  For me it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, a big sigh of relief.

We may find that the things we chase such as happiness, peace, a calm mind etc.. we no longer have to go out looking for them, they come to us.

Which takes me back to that little puddle, simple present moment awareness.

Our minds can race away but in this moment is a little bit of peace, a space where we can rest a little while…..

Lets rest here a while, in this moment,
in this space between stimulus and response
a space of peace.
With nowhere else to go but right here, right now, this is the only moment we have.
There is no-one else we need to become other than who we are right now, right here.
Simple awareness, simple perfection,
sometimes the most profound is found in the most simple.
Thanks to life
Thanks to life

Thanks to life

Life and awareness

As I sit and write today my attention keeps being drawn to the little puddle that is being formed on the patio outside the door. The rain is falling at a steady rate, drumming on the glass and roof, each raindrop forming a ripple of perfect circles in the puddle, the sky reflected in its surface. Simple,  absolute perfection.

You may wonder if I have gone a little strange staring at a puddle and wonder why I make such a big deal of it, but it is oh so easy to miss in our quest for something grander, something bigger.  So easy to by-pass in our striving, plotting and planning.

Simple present moment awareness, I missed it for years, it passed me by.

Even when I started this mindful exploration of life and journey into mindfulness and meditation, my mind played a little trick to push me out of the present moment.  It showed me a little snap shot picture of what it thought life would be like in the future, when “I had got it”.

A calm mind, bliss, peace, no stress, oh how wonderful it would be.

Many times I wondered why it wasn’t working. Many times I nearly gave up. Many times I felt uncomfortable.

I staked my happiness on some future ideal, which was just an illusion.

My practice changed when I settled  into  fully accepting what is here, right now. Be that to get rid of my racing mind, stress, bliss, peace, whatever, I stopped chasing it.

It is subtle but made a huge difference.  I stopped meditating to become different.

We meditate to be who we already are, to be right here, right now, awake and vital, our natural self, nothing added, nothing taken away.

Swallowing a bitter pill

This can be a bitter pill to swallow. I know we sometimes desperately want to change, to escape from the present moment but we find the harder we push it away, the harder it pushes back.

The truth is, there is no other moment, this is all we have. This is our work, right here, right now.

Not always comfortable, not always easy, but when we turn our attention to the present moment, it can open us up to moments of wonder and beauty.

When we make this subtle change of acceptance we can start to be satisfied with just being.  For me it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, a big sigh of relief.

We may find that the things we chase such as happiness, peace, a calm mind etc.. we no longer have to go out looking for them, they come to us.

Which takes me back to that little puddle, simple present moment awareness.

Our minds can race away but in this moment is a little bit of peace, a space where we can rest a little while…..

Lets rest here a while, in this moment,
in this space between stimulus and response
a space of peace.
With nowhere else to go but right here, right now, this is the only moment we have.
There is no-one else we need to become other than who we are right now, right here.
Simple awareness, simple perfection,
sometimes the most profound is found in the most simple.
Thanks to life
Thanks to life

A break in the cloud

A little break in the cloud,

just enough to see the light beyond,

right now, right here, that is enough.

Enough to slow things down,

Enough to open our hearts,

Enough to root us here in the present moment, to make us feel alive.

We can hold it all gently in awareness,

Our thoughts unmasked, seen for what they are, just thoughts.

Like the clouds floating by in the sky, never still, constantly changing,

If only we let them go on their way.

Underneath is a beautiful space, a quiet stillness, a bright light.

A Little break in the cloud

It is enough, it is all we sometimes need.

Roger Hunt

Thank you for reading my words, I wish you a wonderful holiday.
Roger x

 

Self care – meditation

“Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life”

Brian Andreas

Lets rest here for a while and watch the sun rise across the land.

Lets just be here for a while, a little rest, a little bit of self-care.

Feel your feet on the ground

Breathe.

It is okay, you are alive, vital, present.

Open the senses, what can you see, smell and hear.

Lets linger for a while, no rush, no battles, no pushing or pulling.

We can let it all be for now.

Sometimes we just need to come back home, back to our true nature.

The tension in the belly, the closing of the heart, all little signs telling us to return back home, back to the breath, back to just this moment.

Watch the sun rise across the land, the mist rolling across the fields, the day dawning and unfolding.

Listen to the sounds, the birds singing, the distant traffic, the sound of your heart beating. So easy to miss in the busyness of life.

So often it feels like we are being pushed along out of control.

Feel your feet rooted into the earth, grounding you, supporting you.

Feel your breath, the rise, the fall, in and out.

There is a quiet stillness here, we can just observe it all with a gentle curiosity.

A space where we can just pause and rest.

A space between the stimulus and response.

A space where we can dwell deeply in the present moment and feel truly alive.

It is right here, amidst the chaos, it always was and always will be.

Rest in this self-care, soothe your soul and replenish your energy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Underneath the knowledge

To discover anything new, we have to start on a journey.  So often that journey starts with searching for facts, knowledge, belief, anything that tells us this is the right thing to be doing and that we are heading in the right direction.

I remember when I first started out on this journey of meditation and mindfulness, I was eager for knowledge, eager to know more and more, to fill my mind with facts.  It was like this for the first few years of practice.

There was nothing wrong with this, it got me started on a new path but I did start to notice something.  As I started to fill my mind with more and more facts and knowledge, I started to close off from anything new. The accumulated knowledge started to form my experience and started to act as an impediment to anything new forming.

Sometimes, in order to create we have to destroy.  To take down brick by brick the walls we build, seems counter productive. To seek the truth, to see the true reality this is what we have to do sometimes.  What is left is something underneath the accumulated facts and knowledge, something  that depends on non of this stuff, beautiful simplicity.

Maybe this is it, just a continuous building and destroying, a constant cycle. I know less now than when I started and that to me is just beautiful, for underneath all of that stuff is a natural stillness, a peace and happiness that is nothing to do with the accumulation of knowledge.  Ordinary, honest and genuine. A true reality that is underneath the story the mind tells us and the self projection that knowledge can create.

I leave you with this Haiku from Basho, which sums it up. Beautiful simplicity, life in all its vitality, incredible in its ordinariness. I wish you a wonderful week ahead.

“In the dark forest a berry drops, the sound of water.  On a withered branch a crow is perched, in the autumn evening”

Basho