Life and awareness
As I sit and write today my attention keeps being drawn to the little puddle that is being formed on the patio outside the door. The rain is falling at a steady rate, drumming on the glass and roof, each raindrop forming a ripple of perfect circles in the puddle, the sky reflected in its surface. Simple, absolute perfection.
You may wonder if I have gone a little strange staring at a puddle and wonder why I make such a big deal of it, but it is oh so easy to miss in our quest for something grander, something bigger. So easy to by-pass in our striving, plotting and planning.
Simple present moment awareness, I missed it for years, it passed me by.
Even when I started this mindful exploration of life and journey into mindfulness and meditation, my mind played a little trick to push me out of the present moment. It showed me a little snap shot picture of what it thought life would be like in the future, when “I had got it”.
A calm mind, bliss, peace, no stress, oh how wonderful it would be.
Many times I wondered why it wasn’t working. Many times I nearly gave up. Many times I felt uncomfortable.
I staked my happiness on some future ideal, which was just an illusion.
My practice changed when I settled into fully accepting what is here, right now. Be that to get rid of my racing mind, stress, bliss, peace, whatever, I stopped chasing it.
It is subtle but made a huge difference. I stopped meditating to become different.
We meditate to be who we already are, to be right here, right now, awake and vital, our natural self, nothing added, nothing taken away.
Swallowing a bitter pill
This can be a bitter pill to swallow. I know we sometimes desperately want to change, to escape from the present moment but we find the harder we push it away, the harder it pushes back.
The truth is, there is no other moment, this is all we have. This is our work, right here, right now.
Not always comfortable, not always easy, but when we turn our attention to the present moment, it can open us up to moments of wonder and beauty.
When we make this subtle change of acceptance we can start to be satisfied with just being. For me it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, a big sigh of relief.
We may find that the things we chase such as happiness, peace, a calm mind etc.. we no longer have to go out looking for them, they come to us.
Which takes me back to that little puddle, simple present moment awareness.
Our minds can race away but in this moment is a little bit of peace, a space where we can rest a little while…..